all mixed up!

I am frustrated. I am upset with a lot of things. I hate changes. I feel terribly empty. Here comes the weird me again.

Everything that happens now seems to be awfully distressing but the strange thing about it is that I don't exactly know why I HAVE to feel this way, when I know there are lots to be grateful for.

I've been used to detach myself from people but I know deep inside I'm really hurt. I don't know, but this might sound so babaw but I'm sad because I might lose my friends from work. For the past three months in Cebu Pacific, I have earned friends which made me love my work more. Mushy me, but this kind of things engender a feeling of anxiety for me. This June, we're gonna have different scheds na, which I am 90% sure I'm gonna be in morning shift. Damn! Baligtad na naman mundo ko. I hope my dog will still recognize me after 2 months..Haha.

Yun nga as I was saying, my friends and I would most probably be reshuffled to different working hours, ok lang sana but I can feel they will quit working if they will be put on earlier or later scheds, well, that's what they told me. I can't convince naman them to continue working since most of them are married and have kids already. Actually our batch had the biggest number of newbies that joined Airport Services but ewan ko, it's really hard to know one's attitude eh. Maybe I'm just scared that I'd be mixed up with people I won't be comfortable working with. Ewan, at this age, I should know these things already.

This morning was the most star-studded queue I had. This is history! Haha..

I handled Dumaguete bound flight a while ago. I have accepted Parokya ni Edgar Band and crew, but wasn't fortunate to have face-to-face encounter with Chito or Buwi man lang coz they had not showed up themselves in the counter. Sayang, but ok lang since I have pics already with Chito when we watched their gig in 19east last December. Actually, I just found out that they were Parokya when the other member was in the counter and talked to one of the crews. Astig. Share ko lang, they brought lots of music equips mostly high end (just sensed it) coz normally guitars can be hand-carried but one of them told me that the guards on the second x-ray area (before pre-dep) won't allow stuff like that so that means, that guitar has metals on it. I don't know, just a wild guess. Haha..

Then the next batch of stars arrived. WHOA!! Wala lang, this is the first time lang I checked-in showbiz people. What's nicer was that they were in the counter! All of them! Haha..Kuya Giant, the loader, told me if I know Jake Cuenca daw, then I saw one guy sa queue, pwedeeee!! Hahaha.. He's with Sherilyn Reyes, Tyrone Perez, Jay Manalo and lots pa, I just don't know their screen names but definitely recognize them. Sherilyn is nice, and Tyrone is cute pala, nga lang parang mayabang! Hahah..Starstruck? Parang now lang nakakita ng artista!!!wahahahaha..

+ Well atleast these things make me forget my inner despair that comes from outer space. Ciao!

[ 7:12 PM ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

wat da f***!

This week is the most freakin week of all time. Yeah, people are going crazy! it's like everyday that the airport turns out to be a jungle where wild animals go mad. I don't know what's up with these people but they make me feel hyper-ventilated. shux, i can't breath!hehe.. For this, I am going to give a tribute blog for my three best-in- freaking-out animals I have dealt with..:D

The 3rd runner up goes to:

Ms. Irate Lesbo

This Aiza Seguerra look alike was wearing a very skimpy shirt and a black backless top..yikes, mali..hehe..This feeling lalake in a katawan of a babae was so irate that everyone who heard him este her pala made no pakelam coz she's so wala lang..hehe..

cge na nga eto seryoso na...

According to her, she came from the ticketing office to buy tickets for their family. Amidst the bad weather condition with matching super jampacked people in line at the ticketing, she still managed to book for a flight going to Kalibo. When she was about to check- in, unfortunately, the flight was overbooked that they had to go on stand-by to have a chance to catch the flight. Yes, they had their trip booked and reserved but they were not able to check in on time that's why the slot intended for them was given to other passengers. It is a policy that guests must check in 45 minutes before boarding time or else they might not be able to catch their flight.
Finding out that they were chance passengers, she began the shouting (as in imagine aiza freaking out in a public place, ganon!- hehe except that she's macho nga lang unlike aiza..haha)

She cursed our manager over and over uttering the uber gamit na gamit na word na : "Punyeta!"..hehhe..atleast she's using the not so hurtful words as compared to our second runner up...

And our 2nd runner-up goes to:

Mr. Irate Joe

Dumugo na naman ang ilong ko..

Kaka english sa mga foreigners like Mr. Joe ..hehe

I don't mean like I can't speak English but we all know naman that it's really hard to argue with foreign people because we can't just say what we mean to say. The intonation and the use of words were just too hard to mix in a way that I want it to sound like I am explaining but hindi ko talaga pinapatulan.. I still want to sound respectful as I can.

Too bad I was dealing with that old man and he was just fuming in anger when I told him that he had to pay his penalties for not flying in his scheduled trip. He was just too malas that he availed of the cheapest fare and had to pay the most expensive penalty for not catching his trip on time, add up his excess baggage and..

BOOOM!

Nasira ang baston ni Sir sa sobrang galit.. Hahhaa..

Kidding aside, I very well understand his reactions because nobody wants to pay double the ticket price dba? What makes him my top 2 was the way he reacted when he was about to pay his penalties. He kept on cursing me and using offensive words, telling how he wanted to get the hell out of our STINKING country. Well, what's with discrimination man? He told me pa in a very loud voice if I'm only that because he is a foreigner! Tang*** un! At ngaun hinuhuthutan ko pa daw sha! waaaa..ako na naging irate dito ah..Bottom line was, he had no choice but to pay while me smiling like a jerk! Now who's the winner?!Heheehehe

And our Grand Winner...

Ms. Irate Slang

She claims to work for a very well-known publishing company in the States as a journalist. I don't know the reality of that cause she acted like a hungry lioness in Madagascar. She has the wildest roar of em all that everyone was just hoping that meat will pour down from heaven to shut his big mouth up.

Sayang this kind of woman. She's pretty but she BADLY needs 10 sessions for Anger Management

She turned into a monster animal when she saw the endless line of people queueing (?) for a piece of paper called the boarding pass. Hehehe..To make the story short, this beauty journalist-turned-beast ay sumingit sa pila like an educated professional she was claiming she is. Of course, no matter what your status may be, there's no such thing as VIPs in the airport, well unless nalang you are the president who had just closed the runway for 2 hours last week for her trip to Cebu which made the passengers really angry, but this is another story. Regardless of who you are, you have to check in and present yourself as a valid passenger of our airline. But of course, if you are prominent person in the country, you have the option to atleast designate your assistants or bodyguards to fall in line for you while you just wait for your flight. Not like this girl who felt ata that she owns the airline, well, too bad for her natapat sha sa isang obssessive-compulsive agent who doesn't tolerate people like her. In other words, nakatikim sha. My co-worker told her to act like an educated person, just find herself a place and patiently wait for her turn. That harsh words made her go mad that she just kept on shouting on every staff she saw kahet na hinde talaga directly involved with the situation. I don't know how the manager persuaded her to take it easy basta she made me felt like there was no oxygen left for me to inhale.

***

The morale of these stories is wrapped up in one word, Patience.

[ 12:48 AM ] | 0 comments

Thursday, May 11, 2006

bring it on

I suddenly felt the urge to blog though i've got nothing definite to write about. maybe this is just an effect of boredom or too much thinking..

I don't know how many times i've turned this pc on but still gets sick of reading and visiting the same old sites. I don't know, information overload, i guess. or maybe i'm just scared of bumping undeliberately on pages I never knew existed..

or maybe I continuously deny the fact that things do happen..

Google told me that:
Denial (n.)- is an unconscious defense mechanism characterized by refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings.

hohohohoh.. it struck me..

***
If only I have your guts, I would do the same things you are doing.. But no, I have more reasons to ignore you. I know we are two different people and the first impression that you gave me was so bad, i couldn't help but hate you. I know for a fact that it's not all your fault but you got no freakin idea how you continue to hurt me again and again, not knowing what damage you are constantly doing.

We are just the same. At some point, you were hurt by someone else and the pain it caused you stays with you. . Thank God, it wasn't unfair.

and for you BEEECH!

hahaha.

[ 6:15 PM ] | 0 comments

Saturday, May 06, 2006

it's ur 26th bday!!

As far as I can remember, this is the first time i'm gonna write a little private thing about myself. Well, most of my close friends would know the story but not everyone.

I'm actually hearing my heart-pounding as I write this blog now. Maybe because she's here with me, watching what I'm typing..

Today is my sister's birthday. It was the 6th of May, year 1980 when my older sibling was born. We were only a year apart and I guess, like most of people out there, we also had our own share of sibling rivalry. I would remember us fighting over little things and was almost on the verge of hurting each other physically, but one thing's for sure, I love my sister and I miss having her with us. She was my playmate, my ancestor (and i'm the successor of her old possessions), and my number one enemy. We weren't close but i'm sure we would have been..

if she's still around..

It was the 26th of June 1993, one stormy afternoon. I would not forget that day. It was different. For all we knew, it marked the turning point of our family's life...

It was the day when my ate died in an accident. It was 2:30pm, the rain had just stopped and she and my cousin went out to buy something for their school project. It was in the nearby area so my mom allowed them to go by themselves. I was supposed to be with them, but we fought and she eagerly told my mom not to let me, so I just stayed with my mom at my tita's house just beside our place.
My relatives were ready to play card games when they realized that the Ace of diamonds was missing. Of course, di pwedeng ituloy so I remembered all of us looking for it everywhere when the phone rang...

it was my cousin calling, telling my aunt that she wanted to talk to my mom..

"tita, c kathy po.."

then according to my mom, she heard my sister's voice saying she's alright..

My parents, some relatives and friends rushed to the hospital (but not me and ichu). I could remember the feeling of parang nervous na parang nilalagnat na parang nasusuka na ewan, knowing that a family member met an accident and I didn't have a clue what the hell is happening. I remembered pa my neighbors telling us that she's ok na daw since they "heard" from the doctor's mismo that my ate will be out soon. Little did we know that she's really going home.. yeah, but in a casket..

I cannot explain how my family cope with the loss especially seeing my mom drowning in depression. Of all the people mourning, I know she's the one who felt the most unexplainable loss a person could ever imagine. We lived by it day by day, but what hurted me most was seeing my mom almost on the verge of breaking out, and I got nothing to do but to hold on, let go and pray for acceptance.

I saw the transition of all the members of my family from then on. My mom quit working from that day, my dad became quite linient, and I valued my family more, and that started me to feel lucky that I still got one sister with me. The one I envied on since the day God gave her to us, the one I always fought with because of the attention she got from my mom. Pala, God planned it all to make me appreciate people with me more, the ones who TRULY love me, the ones i seldom take for granted but are still with me when i'm in tears. They are the ones who I don't need to make papansin just to be loved.. the ones I cherish in my hear for all time..

As of now, I can say that we time healed the wounds of losing my sister, but she will always be remembered... Thanks sis for everything.. I know she is always there for me.. Sorry if sometimes, I wasn't able to visit you but u'l always be in my heart..

**in loving memory of my sister, Kathy (May 6,1980-June 26, 1993).. You will always be loved! I miss you ate!!**

[ 8:20 PM ] | 0 comments