'The AUTHOR'

::Jo. October 23. Scorpion:: +a self-proclaimed fashionista+

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Monday, February 28, 2005

great night, great music..rock on!

Had a long weekend. Took my first leave last Friday. Just basically spent the whole day at home watching TV, playing with cutie and bumming around. I dont know if my weekend was great or not. It was tiring though! After going to Libis last Thursday to watch them compete, ofie and I went to places pa after that. Haha..What a day it had been! So many things happened that night. Whoa!
I have to thank my lopez friends-bab, edong,ralph, mumi luz, magsi and chaka. They were all there to support him that night. Well I just hope he appreciated the gesture. I didnt know that he was expecting me to be there that's why he did not text me that day. For sure he knows i'm gonna be there..Coz he knows whatever happens, I am always there..Talk about stupidity!
I just waited for their performance, wow..super galing..they won 1st place. I'm glad di naman nasayang lahat ng pagod ko going all the way to Libis pa after work. All worth it.

[ 1:50 PM ] | 0 comments

Thursday, February 24, 2005

complicated

You can't force people to love you, care for you and be with you. Truly, it takes time for people to realize your worth, coz the more you show them what your true feelings are, the more they tend to push you away..

A person may be hurting me now but slowly, i'm getting used to being alone. It's sad to know that some people are born to be mean and harsh. It's as if hinde ako tao para i treat niya ng ganun..I may be sad all the time, but soon, I'll be fine. Soon, i'll thank him for hurting me that way..

These are the days when I feel so empty yet my life seems to be falling into place once again. It's because of you. It's hard to let go but I'm trying to. Just the same, i need time to take you out of my system. The years we had spent together is not easy to let go, memories are difficult to forget. I believe that there will come a time when I won't cry over you anymore. You will always be a special part of me, I admit. In you, i felt how it is to love someone more than i think i can.

There will come a time when I'll say that i'm almost over you..

[ 5:33 PM ] | 0 comments

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

ok na ko..

I am brave but I am stupid. It's been a week since that thing happened. It was my fault. Yeah, I was the one who triggered him to react that way. Tanga ako.. but i am happy that slowly, i'm beginning to know myself even better. I may be like this now but I am sure someone will care for me and accept me for who I am..
I was depressed (na naman!) dis week..hay, buhay ko..so dull yet so peaceful. There were people telling me what to do, what to think , what to expect, and i'm thankful for them coz although nakukulitan na cla sa ken, i know the bottom line is, live and let go!..funny coz i know what they're gonna say at the end of it all.. :p
So many sad things that happened this week, not only sa sarili ko but my other friends din.. pero i'm the ultimate GAGA of them all. And i am proud to say that once in my life, i have loved so much, become stupid and everything but this is it! promise!

Realizations: The man i once loved so much turned my world upside down, I ain't wishing for one more try.. I am ok..I will be ok without you. The only thing that makes me brave is my faith. not in you but in HIM.

[ 9:56 AM ] | 0 comments

Monday, February 14, 2005

valentine's day

Today is February 14. Valentine's day.. A special day for people in love. Hay, sarap talaga ng feeling na yun.. Ecstatic..
I got up on the right side of bed early this morning. Ang sarap ng gising ko. Although I lack sleep this weekend, I had fun.. Simple things that made my day..Last friday, I went out with Fatz.. Napagod sha sa ken kakaikot sa glorietta.. hehe.. buti nalang fatz's mabait.. Ayaw lang nya ng male late pagsakay sa MRT.. :p
I got up early last Saturday. Ate tata arrived from London. Thanks for the Burberry perfume. I like it a lot. :)
I was supposed to go to Lovapalooza in Baywalk that night kaya lang I had to drive my family to Duty Free.. I was really excited for Saturday nightouts but I guessed not informing your companion would definitely make them feel bad. I arrived home at 9pm from duty free shopping, not informing him of anything made him angry.. Anyhow, he made me cry a little bit, sa inis.. I didn't have the control over my time kse so he was not supposed to get mad at me. Well, nangyari na eh.. But we still went out pa rin.. :)
The fort. tambay with different kinds of people. Haha.. Cutie was very happy.. Adorable shih-tzu. Rare and one of a kind. Moody and super sa kuleeetzzz.. Girl kse eh.. she's a spoiled brat kaya minsan I spank her.. Sama.. Pero ok lang, love nya pa din ako.. We just walked cutie around, looked at cars passing by. In fairness, halos lahat magaganda. Few people were there maybe because they were at the sensationalized and very much commercialized na lovapalooza.. hehe.. :p ayus lang, simple things like make me happy naman eh..Played billiards after tambay, sarap talaga magbilyar! I could feel kse na don lang ako magaling especially pag di magaling ang kalaban ko..haha.. Score: Race to 5: 5-2. I won!!! :)
Sunday. Played billiards again. I won again. Ano ba? Ganun na ba ko kagaling sa pool. Haha :)

**now i know how to pronounce the word "BOMB". --chocolate!!!!! whatever, tao lang po!! hehe :p

[ 2:20 PM ] | 0 comments

Thursday, February 10, 2005

giving up and goodbyes- a tribute to my friends..

I hate goodbyes but i'm used to it.. I remember nung bata pa ko we would always play outside with my childhood friends..nakaka miss..but one day, I woke up realizing that they were all gone..twas sad but I didn't lose hope of still seeing all of them one day..
My best friend, cousin, shopping partner, gayle, was now in the states. I could still recall the day when their family migrated there. At first, my cousin didn't have the idea that they'd be staying there for good. She thought it was one of the out-of-the country trips lang that they used to do every year. but then di na pala cla babalik. All of us were shocked. We thought it was just a joke. She didn't even bring too much clothes thinking that they would not stay there for a long time. They've had a good life here. Gayle and her ate Gevie were one of my closest friends. Everyday daming kalokohan and kikay stuff to do. We even go to the same school then. All I can remember of them are all good and happy memories. When Gayle called me to break the bad news, I felt sad. We had lots of plans and I could say that we were having the time of our lives that time. We were in our growing up-feeling dalaga-stage..hehe.. Lahat ng kalokohan, we were starting to discover then. Dun ko nalaman na I was born to be maloko..Haha..Because of their influences too..:p
Now, I am happy they found their place there. Detachments are always hard to bear but time heals all wounds..Gayle goes home once in a while. And ginugulat nya ko pag umuuwi sha!!..Her first uwi, she went straight to my room and I was still sleeping. Ang aga naman kase nun. She sat beside me lang and inalog alog ako..Shempre bagong gising, nainis ako..I thought it was my sister na nangungulit lang. Then I heard Gayle's voice na sobrang lakas. Paggcng ko kala ko may roommate na kong G.R.O.. With all the bright hair color with matching leather jacket....HAHAHA ! :p I hope one day that beeyach will be back..!!! :)

My bestfriend for 8 years, OFI.. We've both been supporting each other since bubot days. We were schoolmates at St. Mary's but only had the chance to be close when we were in third year. kikay, bubbly and used-to-be happy go lucky girl--that's her. I was glad we were still schoolmates in college, although we chose different courses. There was a time when she turned to a stranger--she seemed not to know me when we see each other in school. She was always in a hurry, parang may hinahabol. I used to talk to her on the phone but she changed one day--always nowhere to be found. I had my own set of friends but I still tried spending time with her. What I don't know is that she was falling madly in love with this guy that time that's why she was always out of sight.. sh*t..wrong choice.. That bastard..he abandoned her after finding out that she's pregnant.. Loser... He might have left my bestfriend that time with nothing but now that she has KYLE in her life, she has nothing more to ask for. I love my friends to pieces, I fight for them.. Even if their ex bfs curse me..haha..

I have so much more to say but i'm already tired..eto na lang..

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." -- Bernard Meltzer.

[ 11:20 AM ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

AVRIL LAVIGNE in MANILA

"AVRIL LAVIGNE: BONEZ TOUR WITH SIMPLE PLAN" on MARCH 31, 8PM @THE FORT- fort BONIFACIO TAGUIG..

cool man! :)

[ 4:48 PM ] | 0 comments

life's like this

I lack sleep. I went to bed around 10pm last night but it was still bitin when I woke up at 7 this morning. Kainis. I just wish today's Saturday so I don't need to get up early. I slept in the cab on the way to work. I can't help to take a nap when I have the chance to.
I want to save money but I just can't. Ang gastos ko everyday talaga..sobra. Most of my money go to transportation lang. If only I have a car to drive, I may have saved 70 pesos everyday. Spare me from hailing cabs!!!! :(
My day's just the same. Except that today, I have a new PC to use here in the office na. Atleast, starting today, I don't need to sing one song before I can browse to another site! :p I am happy i'm using windows XP na.. wohooo...
Last night, I missed my old friends bigla. I texted those I haven't talked for years.. I just wish I can still talk to them like before. and now they know i'm still alive... :p
nothing more to write. but i'm dead sure tomorrow's day ain't gonna be ok..

I just knew it.. :'(

[ 1:42 PM ] | 1 comments

Monday, February 07, 2005

falling into place

My weekend was alright. I can say that I am being me these days. Bumabalik na ko sa dati!! yipee..and that's good.. totally..I am myself. Bravo..

I never asked for this thing to happen to me. I have waited so long to be like this and damn, it feels so right! I lost myself in the process and it was really hard to go back. I guess that's what life is all about. The countless unfortunate events SHOULD happen before you learn..And it won't be easy. Acceptance is the hardest part for me. I'm scared of being alone. But there's no turning back anymore once you're there na. All I could do is to move forward. take one step at a time.--like a child learning to walk for the first time. And sooner than I thought it would be, I found my place once more. It's just a matter of attitude. I guess at some point in my life, I had to be unlucky...

Talked to my cousin from the States.. I really miss her..

I gonna die without my ipod mini..

[ 3:25 PM ] | 0 comments

Friday, February 04, 2005

paranoia

Girl paranoid. Eto ako ngayon. I am so fu**ed up with the thought that people judge me that EASILY.. I hate the way other people treat me. As if I did something wrong..? Well, I might be affected by it but the bottom line is that: I don't care. Bahala sila..
On the other hand, a new acquaintance told me that I am mabaet daw. He said that I have to be stone-hearted to survive especially if people treat you bad. He said that sometimes, it's ok to be a bi**h..Yeah I know, but it's hard to be someone that I'm not..
One realization I have for today is that the best things in life are indeed FREE.. I may be going through a lot of hell and bad but my friends and family are always there. Sometimes, I get so guilty if I don't treat them nice. Hehe.. Sa sobrang depression ko, i'm starting to lose my temper over little things, especially those that I don't wanna hear.. :p
I get to see the life I'm gonna have with my new job. It ain't easy but it's definitely a challenge for me. Assteeg..I went home late for two days in a row..Twas tiring pero ayus lang. Atleast I get to have my head bombarded with work..Information overload..That way, I can easily forget the things I wanna set aside..Maybe God really knows where to put me...

**An old friend just made my day. Thanks for bringing back my self-worth.. I know you might not bump into this page, but I was really touched of what you said.. You made my day!!!! :)
**And yea, special thanks to my dear friend, MIMI.. thanks for the comment girl.. I miss those times when all we do is look at other people's flaws..When all we do is think highly of ourselves. I have never been the same Jo as before, but I will be again.. All I need is time, and we're gonna be the masters of pool again!!! bwahaha!! :) love ya mi..

[ 2:22 PM ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

so tiring

I went shopping after office. Ganun ako pag depress depressan. Napapagastos tuloy ako. I remember one time when I was still in Accenture, nilibre ko teammates ko ng yellow cab pizza.! yummy..depress kse ako nun.. pag naiinis ako, outlet ko ang gumastos.. After that, magugulat ako kse im broke again. 15 days before payday, wala na kong pera sa ATM. Simot na sweldo ko for the kalahating buwan..

I bought blouse, jacket and skirt. Inubos ko sweldo ko. Sayang, naubos wala naman akong nabiling jeans, shoes or bag. Hay naku. Ganun talaga cguro. You cant have everything you want. I bought the skirt para sa valentine's day..malay mo! haha :) Ayan na naman..feeling na naman ako..After that, I met manj and jaz in G4. Swerte talaga ng dalawang un.. hay, sana pala Australia here I come na rin ako..Oks lang.. ganun talaga. We had dinner sa Kenny. Haha..C manj, health conscious ang drama. hehe..ma mi miss ko talaga ang 2 un. Two of my closest friends..

My tita arrived from the States. Mom called if I can go with them sa Duty Free. I wanted to go sana kaya lang pagod na ko. Depressed pa. Mapapagastos lang ako ulet, wala na kong igagasta pa..hehe..pathetic..So i went home, watched TV and made the biggest mistake of my life..The call..Peste! Pesteng kamay to..Dial dial pa.. Ayan.

Slept at around 2am.. Badtrip may pasok pa ko the next day at eto pa til 10pm pa ko!!Grrr..Normal lang sa isang tao ang ma depress pero ung sa kin abnormal na.. It's like every other day! What a LIFE di ba?.. Mostly, I admit it's my fault why I'm going through these depressions..Di na kse ako matuto..It's very hard for me to step out of my comfort zone. And 'sha' ang comfort zone ko..Haayy naku..Yun nalang masasabe ko.. My life is full of shit nowadays. Minsan para akong gago coz I talk to myself and comfort ME. Damn! Nasisiraan na ata ako. At peste, dahil sa yo un!!! Masakit pa don, timang na ko dahil I'm trying to reach out on him but he keeps on pushing me away.. Less talk less mistake sana ang motto ko for this year..Kaya lang, di ko talaga kaya..

Kung pwede lang magmura...

[ 11:14 AM ] | 1 comments