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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 how longwhat do we mean to each otheram i friend am i lover is it over now? do u love me still or do u just mean well? hayayayay..love, blow my way.. oo ikaw nga..haha.may araw ka rin.. nakakatakot na nakakatawa..eto talaga ako jaraaaaaaaannn...
I don't know how to begin blogging but I very well know what I want to write. My life evolved around making choices, good and bad ones, and now I doubt if I made right ones. I was off to work yesterday, and as usual, I had to run errands and fix papers while I have the chance to. I was really lazy to go out but I really had to. I was always this tamad and I need to change for my future na rin. I went to St. Scho for my credentials' authentication, and seriously, I miss the school. It was a lot different na, pergola is under construction, the entrance is now at the parking lot, and it was lot quieter than before. Haha. I didn't miss the uniform though, but it brought back memories of college life. I suddenly remembered my classmates, the MM class, the breaks all we want, and the single life that I got used to live- with no one to think of but myself and graduating. How great it is to live like i'm just focused on one thing and nothing else. But it's true pala when you finish school you will get to be in the 'real world' with some great and some crap, and it's up to you to choose whichever, whoever suit you. I was talking to a friend in YM last night, and it's great to talk to someone with the same situation as mine. Haha. That person is weird, and I don't expect to talk like that seriously ha. Well anyhow, it was nice knowing that some people do understand the situation that I'm going through without the pressure of doing the right thing just like those who keep on telling what to do blah blah. That doesn't mean naman that I don't appreciate the advices and all, I admit most of the time the words of advice often affect the decisions I made, and whether the results were better or otherwise, at the end of the day, when i'm all alone, when the clock strikes at 3am, when this side of the world is sleeping, I am alone. I am crying. I am thinking. I am myself. I am human. So, that was the day I had. And did I mention that I watched Sam and Toni's movie. Haha. Crap. It wasn't as kilig as I expected it to be but it's more of kilig when the camera is on Sam's, definitely, he's the prettiest face in the showbiz industry now. And to add up the crapness, haha, the girls watching with me was just so OA and kept on murmuring about how gwapo Sam is, how sexy Toni is, how reddish the dress Toni wears. Movie etiquettes, please? haha. I do understand that most Pinoys are like that but, you know, can't they just keep their comments with themselves and talk about it at the washroom, dba it's more fun when you can laugh your hearts out all together with your friends than bothering other watchers. Haha, I'm one lucky bitch, I get to be up close and personal with Sam everytime he goes out of town and needs to ride an airbus without the need to drool with flock of girls in a premiere night, concert or whatever. Sounds fun to have a job like this?Hell no... except of course if Sam's travelling everyday. Haha. Speaking of jobs, a previous co-worker offered me a high paying job. Did I just say $$$$? Haha. Not literally in dollars ah, but you know getting atleast 8000 per payday? And this is just a rough estimate ah. Add the non-taxable allowance of 3200 per month. And guess what, this is not a call center job. Here I go again. But here's the catch, it's in Libis, so that means two things: either I rent a room for myself near the work or commute from work everyday. But what about Dubai? Haha. I'm torn. The heat is on. Decisions decisions. love is just a game. broken all the same. and i will get over you. love is just a lie. happens all the time. great. just fuckin great. Pag-ibig Revival: Kitchie Nadal [I] [II] [III] [IV] [V] (Repeat V)
Oh, memories. All good. :D amp. i'm so confused. I don't know what to do with my very stressing life. Haha. I know, i'm still searching for something. Ewan. Taena ang hirap talaga. What will you do when everyday you come to realize that working 5 days a week, 10 hours a day, won't make a difference? I mean, will I be owning a condo unit at the Fort by the time I reach 27 with the kind of work I have now? And this is so harsh, "im so freaking old!" Dammit. So now I came up with a 50% decision of going abroad. Tama ba to? Amp di ko alam. I know it's either I win or lose. Sobrang risk to. Maybe u'l wonder where the other half percent goes? di ko din alam. it's wandering around. I admit i'm scared. Scared of losing more, afraid of living alone, without the people I am depending on. I'm scared of homesickness. I don't want to experience crying at night because of some impulsive decisions I made and reaping nothing from it but sadness. I'm scared I won't be able to live independently, because primarily, I haven't tried going out of my comfort zone. But on the other hand, I know it's about time to grow. Oh God, please send the angels now.. |
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